Limericks: M.E. ~ Smile, you know you want to.

A woman in Abergavenny
said "I do wish that I had a penny
for each doctor who's said
M E's all in your head
for, to goodness, there's been far too many."

A girl with M E in Belize
said "What's going on with my knees?
They were fine yesterday
now they keep giving way!
Would somebody help me up, please?"

A woman with M E in Kent
was alarmed when her fingerprints went.
It made gripping things tricky,
unless they were sticky,
but fun - to a certain extent.

A man with M E in Newcastle
found life such a terrible hassle
he ran out of hope.
Now he hangs from a rope:
a gruesome Northumbrian tassel.

A girl with M E in Lancaster
finds being so ill a disaster.
A dominatrix,
who got tough for her kicks,
she must now meekly follow her master.

An acrobat living in Mumbles
spent years on his high flying tumbles
til M E spoiled his plan.
He's now known as the man
from Mumbles who fumbles and stumbles.

A lovely young woman in France
wanted so much to sing and to dance
but M E left her stilled
and her dreams unfulfilled,
though she still can beguile with a glance.

A woman with M E in Chester
was taken to be a protester.
She was so often found
lying flat on the ground
that they sent for the cops to arrester.

A young man with M E in Hexham
had muscles but couldn't now flexham.
His doctors despaired,
a feeling he shared,
but couldn't oblige, which would vexham.

A girl with M E in Eilat
spends all day covered up in her flat
for the noise and the light
make her long for the night.
Now she thinks of herself as a bat.

In Hollywood there was a hunk
who appeared to be frequently drunk
but he wasn't at all.
What had caused him to drawl
was M E, for he lived like a monk.

A young girl with M E in Cork,
so weak she could no longer talk,
had to lie on her bed
and would just nod her head
but she felt like a bit of a dork.

"Can the government not understand?"
cried a man with M E in the Strand.
"Despite all the find-
ings, it's "all in your mind"!
It strikes me as damned underhand."

There was a young girl in Bridgend
whose M E had cost her a friend.
Though she'd tried to explain
how it addled her brain
he simply could not comprehend.

A man with ME in the Rhondda
used to burn up the miles on a Honda
but now he's so feeble
he walks like a weeble
and has to make do with a wander.

A girl with ME in Pwllheli
had a terrible pain in her beli
"This darned IBS,"
she groaned. "I confess
I've been spending too much at the deli."

A Scotsman who lives in Dundee,
cut down in his prime by M E
has given up whisky
and, no longer frisky,
just sits round all day drinking tea.

A "hostess" in London called Joyce
got M E and quite lost her voice.
Now no longer vocal
and rather bifocal
she doesn't have much of a choice.

An outlaw remarked, in Virginia,
"Ya cain't catch M E from me, cinya?
I jest had ter ask,"
he remarked through his mask,
"Cuz ya know ah've got nuthin agin ya."

A woman in far Timbuctoo
had to give up her hobby: kung fu.
For now she'd M E
she'd no balance, you see,
and was very soon all black and blue! 

An Aussie dog breeder in Tsavo
thought she was infected with parvo
but alas! she was wrong,
'twas M E all along,
as the doctor informed her this arvo.

A Sheila with M E called Jaq
was real bad and flat on her back
but nothing she took
left her feeling less crook,
not even the stuff from the quack.

A young man in Abergavenny
had symptoms of M E, and many.
His father said, "Fred,
you'd be better off dead,
'cause that way you wouldn't have any."

I knew a young person in Kent
who gave up her M E for Lent.
She said it was fun
seeing how things were done
though her energy quickly was spent.

A man with M E in Darjeeling,
according to how he was feeling,
could sometimes be found
with his head on the ground
with his feet pointed up to the ceiling.

I had a young friend in Tangier
who started to feel very queer
but the words of the doc
gave us all quite a shock:
"I'm afraid it's M E, and severe."

An Aussie who lived down in Alice
had a house all done out like a palace
but when struck by M E
he said, "Bugger me,
who'da thought that the gods had such malice!"

A girl with M E down in Devon
was sure she was heading for heaven;
she felt at death's door
every morning at four
having been wide awake since eleven.

A man with M E by the Tees
was especially bugged by his knees.
He never could kip
as they gave him such gyp,
on account of this awful disease.

A Scot with M E up in Sterling
found his head in the habit of whirling.
He tried to restrain
his disorganised brain
but he had to give up on the curling.

A girl with M E out in China
used to chatter away like a mynah
now she's found to her grief
that she has to be brief
and she sounds rather like a headliner.

A man with M E in Bridgewater
finds his body won't do what it oughter.
Now he sits and he frets
placing numerous bets
on how long he can cope with his daughter.

In Sheffield a girl with M E
has to climb up her staircase to pee.
It takes far too long,
as she's not very strong,
which isn't ideal, you'll agree!

A woman with M E in Oldham
would frequently cry as she told 'em
"I'm a mum and a wife
but it's no sort of life
'cause I'm simply too feeble to hold 'em!"

A man with ME from Zambezi
was quite often breathless and wheezy.
He'd sound like a whale
when he tried to exhale
though to breath in was really quite easy.

A girl with M E in Uganda
was so weary she looked like a panda.
She'd drag herself down,
in her nightie, to town
til the people protested and banned 'er.

A lad with M E lived in Jarrow
where his friends wheeled him round in a barrow.
One day they were struck
when an oncoming truck
found the roadway was simply too narrow.

A man with M E in Brazil
grew increasingly feeble and ill.
His doctor, alarmed,
said he'd better get armed
as he'd need to find cash for the bill.

A girl with M E in Campinus
thought that liquified foodstuffs demean us
but was to weak to eat
either fish, fowl or meat
so her feeding is now intravenous.

A woman who lived in Dundee
was incurably ill with M E.
Her weakness and pain
nearly drove her insane
for she once was as fit as a flea.

A Lancashire lass called Joanna
loved to play jolly tunes on t'pianna
till M E gave her chills,
now she's less Mrs Mills 
but as like as not still Pollyanna.

A girl with M E in Jamaica
was so tired that no one could wake her.
Her mother, now frantic,
said "Try the Atlantic.
We'll see if she's really a faker!"

A man with M E, who was Asian,
thought the cure was in pure meditation
so he sat and he sat
on a very small mat
til absorbed by his own contemplation.

"I've written enough for today,"
said the poet, and wandered away.
She lay down full length
to recover some strength
which M E had been draining away.