Matters Matrimonial: A Lyric
(With more than a nod in the direction of Gilbert & Sullivan.)
For a soloist with chorus.
Recently when contemplating matters matrimonial
I found that I'd a hankering for premises baronial;
I think perhaps I'll set my cap at someone ex-colonial
who still enjoys the splendour of occasions ceremonial.
Occasions ceremonial!
It's not as if I don't fit in with folk ambassadorial;
I'm certainly dependable in things conspiritorial.
When writing formal letters I'm expertly editorial
and excellently dressed in any circumstance sartorial.
Sartorial, sartorial, in circumstance sartorial
sartorial, sartorial, she's perfectly uxorial.
My level of intelligence is high, it's undeniable,
though sometimes I'm considered to be somewhat certifiable;
and though my wretched memory is often unreliable
I think that overall my mind is eminently pliable.
It's pliable, it's pliable, her mind is very pliable;
it's pliable, it's pliable, occasionally friable.
So if you know a gentleman in need of someone suitable
who isn't unequivocal but neither too inscrutable
please let him know my attributes are simply indisputable.
I swear I'll make a marriage absolutely incommutable.
She swears she'll make a marriage absolutely incommutable!
© 2004
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